took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
