man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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