that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
