There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
