i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
