I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
