brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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