I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I want a musical about memes.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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