dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
