You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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