you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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