And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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