His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
