At least make sure they are 18
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me