So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs