I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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