Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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