So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
