she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
