Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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