Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
