my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
