Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
