I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize