What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
