nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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