I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
