i think my tv is drunk
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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