someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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