Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
