what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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