Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
