booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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