is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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