You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My vagina is very pro this idea
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