if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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