it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
