u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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