i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
