I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
