I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
