you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
