jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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