First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How does one acquire holy water?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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