Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
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Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
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I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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