That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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