eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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