Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I've blown a few things in my day
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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