i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
