It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize