remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
