are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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