Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize