Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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