.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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