pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize