he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
