Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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