This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
