Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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