Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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