before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
