I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
