i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
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Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
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SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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