There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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