just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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